Rescue Me
by bluegyrl711
Summary: Post "Aliyah". We forget sometimes that family is not necessarily blood-related, it's those that care for us. Will Ziva learn this in time before she loses everything...again? Some TIVA, also some Mibbs, M after a few chapters-bear with me, 1st story.
1. Prologue

_**A/N – This is my first attempt at this. I would appreciate feedback from all readers, good and bad (not that I'll listen to the bad ones anyway…) but I hope you enjoy it. Bluegirl711**_

**Prologue**

_4 months after her rescue…_

She sat on the beach deck, and looked out at the beach as if searching for answers. Unfortunately, the only answers the waves had were more questions. With each crash against the shore, she heard more questions. She turned to see an another woman, somewhat older than us, take a seat at the deck table.

"Do you think you will hear from him?"

"No I do not." A pause, then, "But, then again, I have tried to predict his behavior in the past, and was certainly wrong. I could be wrong now." She sat down at the table.

"Do you want to hear from him?"

The older woman studied the young woman seated across from at the table. Sepia-brown eyes and chocolate hair, the young woman was lost in thought. She stood up and started pacing around the deck. Her small frame was well-built: defined legs and hips, ample chest and well-developed arms. But it was the jarring scar (which was healing) on her cheek that marred her beautiful face, and what had put her in this place.

"Truthfully, no. I stayed with my fa – the Director and did what I've always done: followed orders. Now, I'm not sure that's what I should do anymore." She shook her head, "Besides, it's not as if I did in the first place."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, not exactly him, but my other…fath – er, boss...Gibbs. Him, I broke a rule and didn't follow orders."

"What rule did you break?"

"Rule #12 – Never get involved romantically with your co-worker."

"Which was Rivkin."

"No."

"You were romantically involved with someone else."

"Not exactly."

"Wait a minute. You weren't romantically involved with the 'someone else' but you feel that you broke a rule."

"We kept playing…how did Gibbs call it, 'grabass'? Is that correct? We flirted, but that was all. And I think he is silent right now because he thinks in his little mind that I could not lower myself to be with him."

The other woman chuckled. "Figures that Gibbs would have a rule about that, especially when he broke it a few times himself. But that's neither here nor there. You could see yourself. With him." She pondered, and then stated, confidently. "DiNozzo."

Ziva hesitated. "If I felt that he was serious…maybe."

Hollis Mann rolled her eyes, and cracked, "DiNozzo, serious?! Well, after what Jethro told me what happened recently, I do believe that Tony, quite possibly, could be capable of anything."


	2. Chapter 1 Darkness Falls

**Chapter One – Darkness Falls**

The unit dropped from the helio a mile out of the camp. Once on ground, they headed at a fast trot towards the encampment. The lead gave the signal to spread out in the camp. Moving like wraiths in the night, they disarmed and laid out the guards. As one man dealt with the guard he had taken out, another guard came from nowhere and almost caught him. The knife that met his throat silenced him forever, and as his body went down, the knife thrower came and caught him before he landed. The man whose life was saved sent a glare to the knife thrower. Light eyes met dark eyes, neither man said anything, but if looks could kill...

The lead waved over the knife thrower and one of the other commandos, and pulled one of the fallen guards up to talk. In Arabic, the lead asked him, "Where are they keeping her?"

The man hesitated. He answered with a shaky voice, "I don't know what you're talking about! Please, unhand me!"

The lead asked him again, with a steel knife chaser. "Again, where is _she_?!"

"I don't know!"

The three men surrounded him. The knife thrower took the knife that the lead held out, and put the point at the man's heart. The lead told the guard, "You can lie to me all you want, but if you lie to these two, well, at least to _him_," pointing to the knife thrower, "he has no problem sending you to Allah. Now, for the final time, where are they keeping the woman being held captive here?"

The man with the knife never wavered, just kept the point of the knife at the guard's heart. He looked at the guard, and dark eyes met hard, ice cold eyes. The guard must have seen something in the knife thrower's eyes that told him that this man would not hesitate to dispatch him to Paradise. "She…she is in…the bunker…under close watch. Please, do not kill me! I have a family! I have-"

He was immediately cut off by a blow to the back of the head by the other commando. The knife thrower sheathed the knife and nodded at the other commando. The knife thrower headed toward the bunker, built into the side of the sand dune. He was followed silently by the lead, the commando and the other commando who was still alive, thanks to the knife thrower. Two more flanked them.

The six men went down the corridor, silently, listening for the slightest sounds of a live human being. They kept going until they heard a radio switch on, and a voice in Arabic asking for an answer. The check-in must not have been what the guard wanted to hear, because he swore, and yelled a command down the corridor, and two more men answered.

They ran up the hallway, only to meet with the five commandos. The ensuing fight was more than unfair – it was unsympathetically one-sided. Knives met gun rapport. Guns win.

They inspected the rooms that were down the hallway, and then a man's voice called out, "I've found something!"

The other five men ran into the room, and saw a view screen surrounded by other monitors and computers. There on one of the view screens was a room with chair, its occupant's face marred from beatings. The most one could tell it was a woman, was the long black hair, and the widow's peak at the forehead.

The knife thrower whispered one word: "Ziva."


	3. Chapter 2 Enough

**Chapter Two - Enough**

**Flashback, Israel, two months ago…**

_They were "discussing" the Michael Rivkin situation. Being on her home turf made Ziva all the more confident, and this did not bode well for Tony. _

_He walked up behind Ziva and said, "I had no choice." _

_She turned to meet his face. "That is a lie." _

_He looked at her incredulously. Tony prided himself on being truthful, most of the time. "Why would I lie to you, Ziva?"_

_She got right up into his face, and said hotly, "To save your worthless ass."_

_Tony, now a little indignant, fired back, "From who? Vance? Mossad?"_

"_You jeopardized your entire career, and for what?"_

_He paused. "For you. He was playing you, Ziva."_

_She just looked at him. "__For some reason you felt it was your job to protect me?"  
_

"_I did what I had to do."_

_  
"You killed him." Cold. Unflinching. Vintage Ziva.  
_

_Tony stared at her. "If I hadn't you'd be having this conversation with him, but maybe that's the way you'd prefer it."_

"_Perhaps I would."  
_

_That did it for Tony. "__Okay, why don't you just get this out? You wanna take a punch? Take a swing? GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM! GO AHEAD! DO IT!"_

_  
__To her credit, Ziva didn't flinch or back away. "__Be careful, Tony. Because much like Michael, I will only need one."_

_  
"And that's what you're really angry about isn't it? That's what's bothering you. It's not that he's dead. It's that your Mossad boyfriend got his ass kicked by a chump like me."_

_  
"You took advantage of him."_

_  
"He attacked me! What was I supposed to do?!"  
_

_What happened next, Tony wasn't ready for. Ziva, in lightning-fast moved, threw Tony to the ground on his back._

_  
Standing over him, barely keeping her voice measured and controlled, she ground out, "You saw a glass table, you pushed him back, you dropped him on it. He was impaled in the side by a shard of glass, bloody, gasping for air."  
_

_Still winded by his landing, Tony wheezed out, "__I guess you read my report."_

_**  
**__To her ears, it sounded like the glib answer that she expected from him. And, true to their relationship, she met that glibness with fire. "__I memorized it! You could have left it at that, you could have walked away. But no, you let him up; you put four in his chest."_

_  
"You weren't there."__**  
**_

"_You could have put one in his leg."_

_  
Tony gritted it out, again "You...weren't...there."_

_Ziva yelled, completely outdone. "But I should have been!"_

_Then it dawned on him. "You loved him."_

_She stepped back, her face blanched with the realization that she did. "I guess I'll never know."_

_Ziva turned and walked away, leaving Tony lying on ground._

________________

**Somewhere in the Sidron Valley…**

By rote, Ziva David took a physical inventory of herself after they were done with this session of torture. Besides the two broken ribs and the start of a third, she had deep welts on her wrists, bruises on her kidneys and the backs of her legs and knees. She could barely see out her eyes, and her vision was still blurry, proof that the last beating she took resulted in a concussion from her captors slamming her repeatedly into the stone walls of her prison room. She wasn't sure of time or date, but she was sure of one thing: she had remained silent. Her captors had asked her repeatedly about one thing.

NCIS.

Just NCIS. Who, what, when, where, why and how. Strategic planning, key players, long-range plans and movements in the Middle East, deployments, investigations. She didn't answer.

That made them hit her even harder, call her names, and think of new ways to get their answers.

At first, when they began asking for answers, she would grunt and moan. But now, after an indeterminate amount of time, she made herself remain silent and never show any emotion.

It was in the dark when she was left alone with her thoughts, she allowed herself to shed a few tears.

Palmer…hoping that he would continue to play 'Ducky' to Tony's 'Gibbs' …Ducky…praying that he would not worry about her too much and that his mother was alright…McGee…she smiled, and wiped tears off her face with her shoulder, proud of his newfound backbone and that he was coming into his own with Gibbs and Tony, albeit at his own pace… Abby…knowing the Forensic Scientist was beside herself with Ziva's departure, and may have started her own investigation into getting her back. _More like wage guerilla warfare with Gibbs and Vance to make them get me back, _Ziva thought sadly.

But there were two and only two people that if she continued to think about them would open up the floodgates and she'd never stop crying. Too many memories.

Gibbs. Tony.

So she promised herself that she would think about them only when they were beating her. It would serve as a reminder to her to never show weakness. Gibbs wouldn't appreciate it, and Tony would never let her forget it.

And she never cried once. Not when they beat her, clubbed her, threw her against the walls, or when they strung her up to be tortured.

But tonight, while sitting tied to her chair, contemplating her life, Ziva realized something. For the first time, EVER, she was rationalizing her actions.

_I had every right to be angry with Tony. I never asked him to look out for me! I am more than capable of…_

She stopped. Then tried it again.

_I had every right to say the things I said to him. Michael was my problem, not his! He's just my partner…_

_Enough already. Be honest with yourself, especially in _this _place of torture – he had every right. Above all things, what you know about Tony is this: disloyalty in any form is unholy to him. Remember Agent Lee? Look at how he ate himself up over the Frog's daughter. It wasn't so much the getting caught to him, it was lying to her that he hated. He cannot lie to people he loves. And he has, when it counted, been unfailingly honest with me._

_And… I fear I may never get the chance to take the words back, much less ask him to forgive me,_ Ziva thought, wincing, while trying to avoid much movement.

_And Gibbs. He has been more Abba than my own. And I thank him by staying with the one that wishes I were a man! I am an idiot and deserve the head slap that I wish to G-d Gibbs were here to deliver. Trust has always been my issue with Gibbs, _she thought. _And now, I fear I may never reclaim with him._

_____________

**Flashback, Israel two months ago…**

_She caught up with him as he was getting ready to go onboard. _

"_Hadar set the fire."_

_Gibbs looked at her, as if searching her face for an answer, "Covering for Rivkin."_

_Ziva's face betrayed none of the pain that Gibbs knew she was feeling. "I was betrayed by Mossad, by my father, by Tony. Who's next? You?"_

_He gave her the 'That's-your-answer-not-mine' look. _

_She looked on the plane to the one person who she thought she could've trusted. He didn't even look in her direction. "I'm not sure we can work together. Perhaps it is best if one of us gets transferred to another team."_

_  
"Transferred?" _

"_I need to be able to trust the people that I work with. I know you more than anyone understands that."_

_Gibbs considered what she said, and left her to it. He leaned over and k__issed Ziva on the cheek. "__Take care of yourself."_

_And left her there, alone._

____________

_**Three weeks earlier…**_

"Probie-san! McGeekle! Probalicious! MTAC now! Boss wants to see us for a meeting with the Toothpick." Tony DiNozzo threw his backpack over his desk and made his way up the staircase in the Squad Room.

"Did Gibbs say why?" Tim asked, catching up with him, a little out of breath.

"No, and I don't think he's gonna answer that until the Toothpick says what's on his small mind."

"And here I thought you just considered me stupid." Director Leon Vance stood at the head of the stairway, allowing just a step back to avoid being run into by Tony.

"I don't think of you as stupid, sir, Director Vance, sir," Tony backpedaled quickly.

"I sure as hell think of you that way," Gibbs said walking past the three men, and accessed MTAC.

As the door unlocked and they walked in, Tony looked over at Gibbs and thought to himself: _I just wanna know what you think about the Toothpick. I've had enough of him to last me for a lifetime. My gut tells me you don't trust him, and just to piss him off, you'd go around him. Or just not tell him anything. Because I'm wondering why in the hell you let _her _stay over there where she doesn't have anyone to watch her six. And why you've let this go on for as long as you did. My gut is also shouting at me that you'd never leave _her_ behind if you didn't already have a plan in mind to get her out just in case things got hinky with dear ol' Daddy Director David. And you know the Toothpick knows something about _her_ and where she might be, and with his megalomaniacal messianic God-complex, he sure as hell wouldn't tell us –_

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked at him.

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter or wherever it is you keep it for safety's sake. Focus."

"CIA and NSA have been keeping close tabs on movements in the Gulf. We have intel on a possible situation that could go south at any moment," Vance elaborated. "We are assembling a strike team to search and recon a very valuable asset. Make no mistake, this is strictly voluntary, however, I would like for McGee to stay here and work the intel and data side of this mission. Coded missives have been sent between the parties, and we have not been kept in the loop on this. I need to know what they know." Vance had the look of someone who also had enough.

"Sir, uh, what exactly is the other part to this mission?" McGee queried.

"Black ops. One team, one part muscle, the other part to identify."

"Who or what is the target?" asked Tony.

Gibbs hit the remote. A picture flashed on the screen, and it caused both Tony and McGee to take in a sharp breath. Beyond the bruises, it was impossible for them to miss who the target was.

Ziva.


	4. Chapter 3 Heel!

**Chapter Three – Heel!**

_**Two weeks before the mission…**_

"Am I to understand this correctly? You and Mr. DiNozzo are going on the assault team to pick up our girl? And Trent Kort will head the team?" Ducky said, almost snidely, while administering a shot to Gibbs.

"Yeah, Duck. And before you ask me, no, I did not want lead on this one."

Ducky sighed. "One wonders why. If I had to hazard a guess, the paperwork that will ensue should there be any type of 'brute force killing' is a pain. And I know you well enough, Jethro, that for that reason alone, you didn't want lead."

"That and the chance to do what I've wanted to do for awhile."

"Which is?"

"Watch DiNozzo pay Kort back."

Both men chuckled. The scuttlebutt around the office was that when the team was informed that Kort would be heading the team, with Kort standing there. Tony blinked, and then threw his head back and simply laughed and walked out of the room. But not before parting with the statement: "Payback is a bitch in heels, Kort."

Classic DiNozzo.

----------

_97...98...99…100…101_

"Tony." No answer.

"Tony?!" Nothing still.

"TONY!!"

Tony pulled out his ear buds, put his free weights on the floor, and wiped his forehead off. "Yes, Abs?"

Abby came closer. She didn't like to see her friend suffering. Of all the people on the team, Tony, Abby and Gibbs had been there the longest and were more than family to each other. To Abby, Tony was something of a twin brother to her. To Tony, Abby was a dear friend who was off-limits and immune to his charm.

"How much longer are you gonna do the 'silent Gibbs treatment' to everyone?"

"Until I understand that girls suck."

"But I'm a girl and I don't suck."

Tony pondered it. "Well, Mizzzz Sciuto, let's look at my recent history with girls, excuse me, WOMEN. I had a girlfriend who I had to meet because of the job. I had the bad opportunity to fall in love with her, but I had to lie to her for my job. And she leaves me because I did my job, only to come back to said job and accuse me of killing her father. I had a boss who was not Gibbs, who told me to lie to the girlfriend as an aspect of my job. Only to find out, I'm satisfying her agenda, and then she runs out and gets killed while I'm supposed to be doing my job!"

He raised his voice. "Now, the one woman who I thought was somewhat different from the first two, not only hates me for doing my job because I told her the guy that she's with is a terrorist, but then, folks, she decides to drop me on my ass because I still chose to be honest and tell her it was for the job. Then chooses not to be here on the job, because she thinks she can't trust me to stick to doing my job. Now, I'm being asked to rescue the same woman…FOR THE GODDAMN JOB!"

Abby cringed. She hadn't seen Tony like this since…Jeanne and Jenny.

Tony sighed deeply and shook his head. He said forlornly, "I'm not trying to take it out on you, but all the women I've met recently have walked all over my heart in their high heels, hurt me, lied to me, lied about me, or let me down in some way, because of the JOB." He chuckled sadly, "I'm starting to think - - it's not the women in my life, it's my job."

Abby came over and gave him an Abby hug. "Tony, you'll survive this."

He hugged her back and said softly, "Not sure that I want to."

_____________

"We will fall down somewhere in the valley, northeast of the mountains. We believe that she is either being held in one of the old bunkers or one of the caves in the mountains. Either way-"

"Be real clear about where we're going, Kort. Gotta make sure we find her." Tony quipped.

"DiNozzo, either give a contribution or I will solve the problem you are choosing to be," Kort retorted. "Being the complete and utter heel that I know you are, leave the strategic planning to those that know and understand the job."

Tony stood and walked over to the map of the Sidron Valley. "You say that she's being held either here" and he pointed to the mountain range on the map, "or here," and he gestured to the Sidron valley basin. "It seems to me that she's being moved around. The best access point for them to continue that plan would be in the basin. More territory can be covered if they have to move her quickly." He turned and went to go and sit back down. "But then, of course, being the heel that I am, I shouldn't know that, right?"

Kort and Vance stared at Tony. He rolled his eyes and started cleaning his nails.

Gibbs had to swallow a smile. S_till underestimating you. They think that a beat cop can't possibly understand how to infiltrate and recon, right Tony? Proud of you, kid. Won't say it to you, 'cause I know you still question yourself after the Frog incident. Wasn't your fault. This isn't either, but I think you know that already. Ziva could've come with us, and you see that as her choosing him and her father over you. But I know her better than you do. She stayed out of loyalty to her father, not Rivkin. But if I had pushed her, she would have come. And that had to be a decision she made, not me._

Gibbs thought further. _And you haven't been the same since. Closed off. Can't think of the last time I heard of you dating, much less…thrown yourself into your work. You're turning into me – and I don't think that good for you. You'll get sick of the job and hate everything associated with it. I can't have that. You need…her. She reminds you to take time out to have fun, and you were the one person that made her access that part of herself, and it kept you loose as well. You're wound tighter than Vance's skivvies._

Gibbs looked at the map, and pointed to different stops along the basin's river. "They'd move her from here to here to here, and rotate. She's been gone for 6 months, and they've started to move her around less and less. She's either being uncooperative or she's cooperated and they've gotten the answers they need."

"Knowing her, I'd go for uncooperative." McGee snorted.

"Either way, they're getting ready to release her or…" Gibbs continued

"Kill her." Tony was, if anything, succinct nowadays.

A heel, indeed.


	5. Chapter 4 Real Dreams

**Chapter Four – Real Dreams**

_I am going to die. But if I am, it will be on my own terms. They will not kill me to send a message._

Ziva had decided long ago that she would never be killed while she was a captive. She had a dear friend, Icheb, who was sent back to Mossad in pieces as the days went by. She made up her mind when they received his head 3 weeks later. But the thing that broke her heart was when they sent the uplink video message of his last moments a day later. The screaming made her bolt from the room and find the closest restroom.

She kept fading in and out of consciousness. At one point, she heard a voice call her, "Ziva, wake up."

"Who is it?"

"Roy."

___________________

"We've searched the entire bunker and there's no sign of her," one of the lead's men reported back.

"Walk it again. We could be missing something. Check for slide or trap doors," the lead replied.

"Found something, boss." The knife thrower pulled off his face mask, and let drop to the side.

The commando who helped with the interrogation of the guard turned to meet the knife thrower's face, and pulled his mask off, smearing the grease paint on his weathered face. "Well, DiNozzo?"

"There's a hatch, but it looks like it must be opened with a keypad or a lever. We may have to blast it."

The lead pulled his mask aside, along with the commando whose life Tony saved. "Can't blast, we don't know if other ordnance are around," Colonel Yusef Benjamin stated. He looked at the other commando, Trent Kort. "That is your specialty isn't it, Kort?"

"Yes, but-"

"More excuses, Kort? I thought a tough guy like you always came prepared for any eventuality. Maybe you need Gibbs's rules of conduct. 'Cause number nine can be amended from 'always carry a knife' to 'always carry your tools of disarmament'," Tony sneered. He pulled the knife out of his boot, and tossed it to Col. Benjamin, who caught it. "Maybe that will help him." He walked out of the room.

"You need to keep you man in line, Agent Gibbs," Kort replied. "It'll get him killed."

Gibbs turned to face Kort. He paused and then said "Like what was about to happen to you before he saved your worthless life?" He walked out to go find Tony.

He caught up with him. "HEY!"

"Boss, I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not." Tony kept walking. "Besides, that's one of the 'Rules', right? Never say that you're sorry."

"Tony."

Tony turned to meet Gibbs's eyes. He paused for a moment. "You only called me 'Tony' when you had something important to say. Or to get my attention. And use more than two sentences. But I'm rambling."

Gibbs shook his head, and chuckled. "Yeah." He then whacked Tony on the back of the head to reboot that hard-to-reach brain of his. And, per usual, Tony flinched. Then Gibbs looked him dead in the eyes, and grabbed his neck. "You're going to be okay. We will find her. I don't hold you responsible. Don't let it eat you. You'll become me after a while. Don't need two of me…that's why there are two B's in my name – one bastard on my team is enough." He paused, and said softly, "Kort had it coming, not for just for the Frog and Jeanne, but for Jenny as well. He let her walk into that situation. Cut him some slack, but not too much. Remember to breathe. We'll find her and bring her home."

Tony hesitated, and was about to speak, but Gibbs interrupted him. "To NCIS. To us. I never let my family suffer, especially when I know they need to be with each other. She had to come to that truth on her own. She needed to know she had another family she could turn to. Planned to come and get her, then this happened. Someone will pay for this, and we'll get her patched up. I did it for you, McGee, Abs, and Ducky, and you guys did it for me. Family."

Tony nodded, and said "Family. Okay, Boss."

Gibbs stepped back. "Okay."

Tony said, "I think we can break the door down, but we need McGeekle to override the door. It's wired to the computer."

Gibbs pulled out the sat phone and called McGee, and he and Tony headed back to the computer room. "McGee."

"Yeah, Boss."

"Need you to override a door."

McGee said, "Okay, I need you or Tony to go to the computer and patch into MTAC."

Gibbs waved Tony over to the computer. Tony sat down and started the patch-in. When he pulled it up, Gibbs said, "Okay, now what?"

McGee said, "Now I hack into-"

A throat cleared over McGee's shoulder. Vance.

McGee corrected himself. "Now I'll patch into the computer and override the door."

_____________

She couldn't believe her eyes. Lt. Roy Sanders was standing there, dressed comfortable, and smiling at her. She felt no pain. There were in a wide open space, full of light.

"Hello, Ziva."

"Roy? Why are you here? Are you coming to take me?"

"No, but I did come to tell you not to worry. Your family is on their way."

Ziva thought she heard wrong. "The only family I have left is my father, and he sent me on this mission."

Ray leaned over and stroked her hair. "No, Ziva. Not him. Your other family. NCIS."

She shook her head. "No. They are not my family, they are my co-workers. Family is blood."

Ray smiled at her. "No. Family is who loves you no matter what you do. Family does not have to share your blood to be related to you. And, to think of it, you have shed blood with them."

She nodded. She remembered flashes of fights, shoot-outs, and other assorted times when she and the team had gotten bloody. But they were always together.

"Make no mistake about this, Ziva. You have run too long. Your mind was quiet when you were at NCIS, with your team, your real family. When Michael came along, he instantly put you back on alert and your heart and mind were not content anymore."

Ziva looked down. Roy laughed a little. "Ziva, I know about Michael, and I understand. In this place, it's just love and light. You've never let yourself care too much, because you didn't like to hurt so much when they left you. It didn't stop you from caring. Like when I was with you, you made sure that I was quiet and not disturbed. I knew you cared, and had I lived, there would have been more. For that little space of time we had, I loved you and I will always love you. You need love in this lifetime, and I can't give that to you. But you have family that can fill the void for you."

"But they don't feel that way about me. After all I did..." Ziva trailed off. _I was the one who walked away._

Ray smiled at her. "Trust me when I tell you, it doesn't matter to them. You belong with them, and you belong to them. They were waiting for you to realize that you belong to them and they belong to you. Gibbs would never force you, Abby would fight you on it, Tim would talk it out with you, Dr. Mallard would negotiate with you, and Tony? Well, you know him better than any of them. What do you think he would do?"

Ziva sighed, and let the tears fall. "He already did it. He fought Michael to keep me with them."

"You thought he was protecting himself. He was, but to him, that also meant protecting you."

Ziva cried, "I didn't want him to! I didn't ask him to! I've always-"

Ray stood back and said, "Protected yourself. That way, when they left or died, you wouldn't be hurt."

Another voice joined them. A sweet, young, innocent voice. "I know how much you hurt after I was killed." A very beautiful teenaged girl joined them. She was a smaller version of Ziva, but with a rounder face and the lightest blue eyes.

Ziva gasped, "Tali."

"Yes, Ziva. I love you, but they are your true family now. They need you as much as you need them. I am always with you, but they are with you right now. Open your heart again and never be afraid to love."

Ziva began to let the tears fall. "I thought I did. I loved you, Roy, even though I knew we did not have time to…be together."

"And I love you still, and I am with you, too. But love must be given in the now, not the after. Let them love you." Ray and Tali faded away, and as they did, Ziva felt her life draining from her.

_Will I ever get the chance to tell them that I love them? I want to…_

She was about to faint when a pair of eyes stood before her. The eyes looked at her and she recognized them._ I must still be dreaming, because those eyes belong to someone I know would never come for me._

"Come on, Ziva, stay with me…"

But his voice faded away, and she sank into blackness.


	6. Chapter 5 Awakenings

_**A/N: **__ So I go to check my email, and I see all the people who have added __**Rescue Me **__to their faves and updates! OMFG!! For a first time fanfic writer – XO to all of you! Please, if you read it, leave feedback, it appeases the compliment monster that I keep chained in the basement (alongside Gibbs' other 3 boats)..Here's Chapter 5 – Hope you enjoy it. Chapters 6 and 7 probably by the end of the week. Happy 4__th__!_

_P.S. – thanks to everyone who also read my story __**Argument**__. It was some fluff that I needed to get out of my system…since we're summer hell hiatus, I'm bored…_

**Chapter Five - Awakenings**

When Ziva woke up, she was in a bed. Where, she didn't know, but it felt good. Her head felt heavy, and she wasn't sure if she was still dreaming, but then the throbbing started in her legs, and she knew she was awake. She started to sit up, but then someone restrained her.

"Hey, take it slowly. The bed elevates." Ziva felt the bed move to a seated position. She looked to her right, then her left. She took note of the two people standing by her bed. One was a nurse, taking notations of the monitors, and other equipment next to the bed. The other woman…

"Lt. Col. Mann, correct?"

"Actually, I'm a civilian now. Hollis is fine."

Ziva looked a little perplexed, and Hollis explained to her. "You're in Hawaii. Gibbs dropped you off and is going back to DC to 'cover the bases' as he put it. He'll be back in about a couple of days."

Ziva looked at the ceiling. "Is it just us?"

Hollis gave her a small smile. "No. DiNozzo is out and about. He's taking a 'beer break' as he referred to it."

Ziva looked at her hands, which were bandaged at the wrists. "I don't want to see anyone just yet."

"I told Jethro that you'd probably feel that way, after he explained what happened to you. You'll need therapy, not just physical either. I have a friend who will help with that."

"Will I be debriefed?"

Hollis shrugged her shoulder. "Not sure. But let Gibbs handle Vance and your father. Right now, it's kind of like a Mexican standoff. No one wants to give first. And we know how hard it is to move Gibbs."

Ziva nodded her head, a sad smile on her face. "Immoveable force meets unmovable object."

"Precisely."

Ziva sat quietly for a few moments. "What did the doctors say about my injuries?" she said after a while.

Hollis, who by this time, had sat down in one of the chairs in the room, said, "He wanted to wait until you regained consciousness to make some decisions."

"About what?"

"I'll let him explain." She left the room, and left Ziva to her thoughts. She was in some pain, but most of it centered on her legs. She wondered if that meant –

"Ms. David? Good afternoon, I'm Dr. Schielman, and I'll be your doctor. I need to explain some things to you. First, your concussion has left you with some scarring on your retinas. We can correct that with surgery. Your legs and arms have been brutalized and you will need to walk on crutches for awhile until we finish with your therapy and rehabilitation, which will take about a year or so."

Ziva took a deep breath. "What is it you're not telling me?"

The doctor hesitated. "I don't like being the bearer of ill news. How do you want it?"

"Just tell me straight."

"You were pregnant."

"I am?" Then it clicked. "I was?"

"Yes, but due to the prolonged beatings, what you might have thought was your period or pain due to them beating you on your back and abdomen, was actually you miscarrying. We had to perform an emergency D & C to remove the fetus and the scar tissue from you uterine wall. I can tell you with some degree of certainty that you will still be able to bear children, but it may prove to be difficult."

Ziva looked out of the window. _I almost had a child from Michael. Who I may or may not have loved. _ She looked back at the doctor, "Thank you for telling me. When will I be leaving here?"

"I can release you to Ms. Mann's care in about another week." The doctor left the room, and Hollis came back in. She looked at the young woman in the bed, and thought to herself, _I hope she can survive this, but from what Gibbs has told me about her, she's a fighter. She'll fight to stay above water. _ To Ziva, she said, "I heard that I can spring you from this place in a week."

Ziva just nodded, and looked out the window again, all the while letting the words float around in her mind: _I was pregnant, I was going to have a baby, I was going to have Michael's baby, I lost the baby, I was pregnant, I was going to be a mother, I was going to have a baby, I was going to have Michael's baby._

She felt…lost.

Ziva didn't do lost. _Don't cry…don't cry…don't cry…_

Hollis looked at Ziva, recognizing the look of a girl who was lost, and needed someone to hold her and let her cry. She walked over to the bed, and sat down. She looked Ziva in the eyes and said, "Go ahead. This one time, allow yourself to be a girl and get it all out of your system. Cry. I won't tell a soul."

There was something so cathartic in the way that sounded, that Ziva burst into a wail, and cried. Hollis put her arms around her and let her just cry.

They sat that way for hours.

____________________

"Can I get you anything else, Tony?"

_Yeah, a big vat of this drink, so I can climb in and never come out. _ To the waitress he said, "No, nothing else, Keilani. By the way," he said, going into his autopilot of charm, "what are you doing after you get off?"

"Going home to my husband and son."

Tony nodded, "Well, you have a good night." He thought about that for a while. _It would be nice to have her to come home to. _ He looked at the drink and took a swallow. It burned going down, but that was okay for him. He wanted to burn some memories out of his head for a while.

It had been one week since they rescued Ziva, and brought her to Hawaii. When they landed, they met Hollis at the tarmac, and loaded Ziva into the ambulance, and followed her to the hospital. During the ride, one question came from Hollis. "How long?" Gibbs answered, "Dunno." No one spoke again until after they left the hospital and came to Hollis's house, which was on a beach.

During dinner, Gibbs explained the situation to Hollis, leaving out a few details. After she showed Tony to his room, Gibbs walked in, turned to Tony, and gave him two orders. "Stay with her until she wakes up. When she does, call me." Then he followed Hollis into her bedroom and shut the door.

For Tony, he interpreted the orders as "Hurry up and wait and Okay, Boss." He raised his eyebrows. _Didn't know Gibbs and Col. Mann were still involved…wow, wait'll I tell McGeekle and Abbs._ Then Gibbs poked his head back out and said, "By the way, Tony, if I hear one word about…this…" and he waved his hand around specifying the whole Hollis thing, "I will shoot you and hide the body." He shut the door again.

"Okay, Boss." Tony fell across the bed, and went to sleep. When he woke up, Hollis told him over a late breakfast that Gibbs left first thing that morning for DC. No explanation. She also told him that she would go and wait at the hospital until Ziva woke up, and that he was welcome to either hang out at her house or poke around the beach. Tony thanked her and went back to bed.

He was well-rested by that second morning. He accompanied Hollis to the hospital. She told him, "You won't like what you see when you see her."

He nodded his head, but still wasn't prepared for seeing her. She was still much bruised on her entire body, casting black, blue, and yellow marks all over her face, neck, and arms. The swelling had just started to go down. But she still looked a mess. "What have they said?" he asked her, when they walked out of the room

Hollis looked at him. "How much do you want to know?"

Tony just looked at her.

"Did Gibbs teach you that stare or is it something you picked up?"

Tony smiled a little. "A little of both."

Hollis told him the extent of the damages, but when she told him that they were having trouble stopping the bleeding, she balked at telling him why.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Her personal business."

Tony thought for a second, and then he blanched. "She lost her baby, didn't she?"

Hollis looked at him with some surprise, and nodded her head. "Gibbs said you were a good detective. They believe she didn't know she was pregnant because she was severely dehydrated and for the brief time she was conscious during her treatment, she did not ask."

"Doesn't mean she didn't know."

"Take it from me, the first thing a pregnant woman will ask about if she's injured is if the baby is fine. She didn't."

Tony sat down. _She was pregnant with Rivkin's kid. Damn. This is a mess._ "Is that all or are there any more surprises?"

Hollis sat down next to him. "Ziva will probably need extensive reconstructive surgery, a load of physical therapy and some psychological evaluation."

"Post-traumatic stress disorder."

"Bingo. And then, she will be debriefed."

Tony looked at Hollis. "By who?"

"Director Vance."

"Over my dead body."

Hollis snorted, "Get in line. That's why Gibbs headed back to DC yesterday. He's going to call off the dogs until she can handle it."

Tony smiled a little. "I think Gibbs has something on Vance that he's been dying to use as leverage to get things his way."

Hollis _knew_ Gibbs had something on Vance. She gave it to him for just this purpose. "Don't worry about that. Worry about what happens when she wakes up and they have to tell her. She will need someone she knows to help her through this." She looked directly at Tony.

Tony stood up and went over to the window. "I'm the _last_ person she'd want to talk to about anything." He searched the skies, wishing he was somewhere else. "She dumped me on my ass when I told her why I was trying to protect her from Rivkin. She told Gibbs that she wanted to be assigned to another team if she came back. She-"

"Tony, listen to me." Hollis joined him at the window. "She might have been angry that he was killed, but trust me when I tell you she's angrier at herself that it happened at your hands." Tony turned to Hollis, but she kept going.

"I know, your first instinct is to protect, but girls like me and Ziva, we've protected ourselves for so long that when someone else tries to do it for us, we don't know how to react. Anger is a good start, usually, but it doesn't last long. She didn't want two people she loved to kill each other. Knowing her, she knew that you would protect yourself if Rivkin came at you. What she didn't know was how she'd feel if Rivkin had killed you: could she have lived with herself if it had happened? She would have seen it as a failure to protect you. And she would have had to choose which one she would side with, you or him."

Tony got angry, "I never would have put her in the position to choose! He did. That should have made the choice easier for her."

Hollis said, "Not if she cared for both of you."

Tony looked back out the window. "Ziva loved him, not me."

"Not from what I saw. She loves you. She just doesn't know if you're ready for serious. But from recent scuttlebutt, you're ready. You just didn't want to put yourself out there if she wasn't interested, right? Especially after the Frog and Jeanne."

Tony laughed. "Recent scuttlebutt, huh? Gibbs gossips?"

"No, he informs."

Tony took a deep breath, and said, "Well, I'll just wait on her and see what she says."

That was two days ago when they had that conversation. Since then, Ziva had been awake and had seen everybody _but _Tony. And for him, that was okay.

He took another sip of his drink, left a tip, and headed back to the house. He stumbled to bed, but the one thought that kept playing on his mind was whether she'd _want_ to see him.


	7. Chapter 6 Bait and Switch

_**A/N – OMFG?!?! Can I just say that I fricking HATE the 4**__**th**__** of July when you are with people you don't know because a FRIEND dragged you along!? Suffice to say, I got a touch of food poisoning and was down for about 4-5 days. I started feeling normal on my birthday (7-11, yeah, it's REALLY my birthday – a convenience store) and tried to write, but got a little stuck. Got unstuck about 3 days ago, and I will be updating A LOT to make up for lost time. Sorry for the wait. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed (more, please!) and added me to your favorites...Hope you enjoy! BlueGyrl**_

**Chapter Six – Bait and Switch**

Gibbs exited the elevator to the main squad room. He was sipping his first cup of coffee of the day (in DC), when out of nowhere…

"GibbsGibbsGibbsGibbsGibbsGibbs…"

"Yeah Abbs?"

"It's Tony, for you. He said Ziva's awake."

"ABBY!" Gibbs turned to glare at the forensic scientist, who looked surprised.

"Glad you could join us, Agent Gibbs. We'll take that call in MTAC." Vance said, as he passed the main squad room, heading for the stairs. He was followed by Kort and Fornell, who had come to talk to Gibbs about the situation.

Gibbs stared at Abby, who cringed, and said, "Oooooopppsss…Sorry, Gibbs, I didn't know", and she wandered over to McGee's desk. Gibbs shook his head. He turned to meet Fornell, who had stopped to speak to him and said, "I'll see you upstairs, Gibbs." He had the look of, "you've kept me out of the loop". IF there was one thing Tobias Fornell HATED, it was being kept out of the loop.

Gibbs stared as the three men made their way up to MTAC. He made sure that they walked inside, walked over to Abby, and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, kiddo." He said to McGee, "Patch in and watch, we'll talk later." He then made his way up to MTAC.

"What was that all about?" McGee queried.

"I'll explain while we watch." Abby said, cueing up MTAC's screen.

When Gibbs entered MTAC, he was immediately greeted with, "Alright, where the hell is Officer David?" Kort demanded.

"Where I left her, Director." Gibbs said, pointedly to Vance, who was standing next to a curious Fornell.

"Special Agent Gibbs, we need to file a report and with that report a full debriefing of Ms. David must go in there before we can proceed with targeting her would-be assailants before they target us." Kort explained briskly. "Further delay will…."

"Will what, Kort? Put me in jeopardy with the CIA? FBI? SecNAV? We've filed our report, along with Ms. David's debriefing." Gibbs signaled one of the MTAC technicians, who clicked some keys on the keyboard, and the image of Hollis Mann popped up on screen.

"Good afternoon, Special Agent Gibbs, Director Vance, Agent Fornell and Agent Kort. I am hereby giving the written debrief from Mossad Office Ziva David, dated 22 October 2009. This voice copy is the only…" and Hollis gave the written transcription of the tape that Ziva made once she was at Hollis's home, which was only about five or six sentences. Hollis reported that Ziva was infiltrating a Hamas cell, attacked, held captive, and no vital information was given. It was noted, Hollis stated, during her questioning (re: torture) that the only questions being asked about U.S. governmental agencies were focused on one agency: NCIS. The screen went blank.

"Wait a minute! She must give that in person! What the devil is going on in your agency, Vance?!" Kort fumed.

"Special Agent Gibbs, I gave you a direct order to bring her back here! The last I heard, she was in the infirmary on board the USS Whitmore." Vance said, while trying to keep his composure. The only people that were not upset were Gibbs, and, surprisingly…Fornell.

Gibbs calmed stated, "In the frame of mind that Officer David was in, and after consulting with her treating physician, it was decided-"

"Decided?! Decided by whom?" Vance strangled out, chewing on the toothpick he had put in his mouth.

"It was by mutual agreement by all parties that Officer David give an oral account, with a doctor standing by for her physical and mental health," Gibbs finished.

"Her mental health?" Fornell asked.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder. You need proof, photos taken by the physicians." Gibbs signaled the same tech to pull up file pictures that showed, in glaring and horrid detail, the extent of Ziva's injuries. "If I were her, I'd have done the same thing. Matter of fact, I did."

Vance just glared at Gibbs. "There's something you're not telling me, Gibbs."

"Likewise, Director." Gibbs turned away to answer his phone. "Gibbs…no…give me 48…well, yeah…good." He hung up the phone. "If we're done, I need to see Ducky."

"We're not finished here, Agent Gibbs. CIA and FBI want their reports." Kort demanded.

"You already have them, Kort." Gibbs turned his back on the CIA operative to face Fornell. "Tobias, any questions?"

Tobias looked at his friend. He knew Gibbs well enough to know if there was an explanation, he would give it when he was good and damned ready. He also knew that Gibbs protected his people, and in the back of Fornell's mind, Officer David was somewhere safe where Gibbs could readily get to, but far away from the reach of SecNav, Vance, and, most importantly, Director David and Mossad.

"What has Director David had to say about this?" Fornell asked slowly, eyeing Gibbs.

Gibbs looked at Vance, who said, with no little scorn, "He was being uncooperative when it came down to notifying us of Ziva's whereabouts and her mission. We decided to be as uncooperative as Mossad is, for the time being."

"That's the part I don't like. Who decided that we were working this closely with Mossad, anyway?" Fornell asked, studying Director Vance.

"That's what I'd like to know, Tobias," Gibbs said, as he turned and walked out of MTAC.

_____________

"Ducky." Gibbs said, walking through the doors of the medical exam room

"Welcome back, Jethro. I believe you have something for me."

"As promised." Gibbs handed Ducky a folder. "We do this the same way we handled her first mishap here."

"Not a problem. Have you talked to her?" Ducky queried. He'd always had a soft spot for the Mossad officer, and wanted to know about her general health.

"No, but I will be, soon."

"How fares Tony?"

Gibbs looked at Ducky. "Dunno."

"He will have a hard time processing this."

"We all will. You'll see from the photos what we have to handle."

Ducky opened the folder and gasped. Even for a doctor, there are some things that can still shock you.

__________

Gibbs went to the elevator, and pressed the button to go up. When the doors opened, Fornell stood there. Gibbs walked in, and as the doors shut, he hit the switch to stop the cab.

"So," Fornell started.

"Yes?" Gibbs said, looking at Fornell, with a smirk.

"Are we still on?"

"Yeah. Gotta head back to where Ziva is."

"I take it Hollis has been of help to you."

Gibbs smiled, and sipped his coffee.

"Well, we must keep up appearances. Same time, same station."

"Sure. Give Molly a kiss for me." Gibbs hit the switch and the cab headed upstairs, and as the doors to the elevator slid open, both Gibbs and Fornell hit the 'bastard' switch.

"Don't you EVER leave me out of the loop like that again, or I'll have you arrested."

"You've threatened me like that before, Fornell. It's getting old."

"Oh, just like you, Jethro."

You could hear the argument all over the squad room. The only people who didn't seemed fazed by it, were the people having the actual argument.

"You'll be getting some company, very soon, if this matter isn't handled within the next few days, Gibbs."

"And as I stated earlier, Fornell, when I know something, you'll know something. Have a good day."

Fornell headed for the other elevator to leave the building. Gibbs stopped by his desk and pointed at McGee and Abby. "Your lab. Now."

As they were heading to the elevator, McGee stammered, "Boss, uh…Tony wants you to call him back."

"I'll see him soon enough, McGee. It can wait." While on the elevator, Abby kept smiling and humming to herself, Gibbs drank his coffee, and McGee looked like only he could…nervous.

When they got to Abby's lab, Gibbs gave her an envelope. "Find out what's on this and get McGee to help you. You know what to do with the answers."

"Sure thing, Gibbs." Gibbs kissed her on the cheek, whispered something to her and left.

"Okay, McGee. Let's find out what we got here." Abby opened the envelope to find…a processor.

"Oh, McGee. This is gonna be some much fun!" Abby squeed.

"Yeah, all night fun." McGee squinted. "I'm not sure if I've got more nights in me."

"Well, at least, we won't be …" and Abby leaned in very close to McGee, and whispered, "here."

McGee looked at her, with trepidation and surprise.


	8. Chapter 7 The Secrets that Keep Us

**Chapter Seven – The Secrets That Keep Us**

"It seems that we have a problem, Leon."

"No, my problem was given back to you. You lost control of her. But then, maybe you never had control of her in the first place." Director Leon Vance leaned back in his chair, not feeling the comfort of the chair or of the situation he found himself currently in. "Eli, you told me to use her because that what Ziva was best for: difficult situations. Now I find out that in a difficult situation, she is not protected by anyone, and she is left on her own."

"And that I was I taught her – to rely on herself. No one else."

"Hey, we all need someone from time to time to help us out. At least, that was what you got me to believe..."

"The situation you found yourself in all those many years ago is nothing like the one my daughter is in right now. At least you had the good grace to admit when you were in over your head." Eli David sat in his office, looking at a picture of his family while he spoke to Vance. He knew people did not understand his relationship with his children.

Because of his own teachings and background, Deputy Director Eli David felt it best to make sure that his children understood what a dangerous place the world was. He lost one child to a Hamas bombing, another child was killed by the only child he had left. And this child, who was so much like her mother, was nowhere to be found. "Ziva does not know how to admit fear, defeat, or when she's in over her head. Which is why I gave her difficult situations to teach her how to keep fear where it belongs: as part of her imagination."

"Then I'm glad my daughter will never enter the military. She needs to understand that fear, sometimes, is a good thing," Vance replied.

"Not always."

"That being said, my last intel sources picked up her trail, somewhere in Australia. She dropped off the scanner, but then I got lucky. Instead of following her trail, I followed Gibbs. He came to DC from Seattle and Dallas/Ft. Worth. My belief is that she is being held somewhere on the West Coast or even further west. I still have people following Gibbs."

"From what you have told me about Special Agent Gibbs, he is not a man who can easily be led, or found. If he does not want you to find him or my daughter, he will not be found, nor will she. And, from my intelligence, he has more than a few reasons to mistrust you, given your _recent_ history."

Vance slowly let out a breath. He forgot what it was like, trying to answer for choices made in order to keep a secret. "The only thing that Gibbs has on me is a file that was falsified to make it seem to him that I was untrustworthy."

"And you foolishly believe that he knows nothing of our prior history or the 'situation' that you find yourself currently indebted to me for?"

To that end, Vance was silent on his end of the phone. _If anyone were to find out…dead would be a good state to be in._

_______________________

_**Somewhere in the Sidron Valley…**_

"I once again find myself at a crossroads. Should I let you live for your value to our cause, or should I do myself the favor and kill you now?" The man in the corner twirled his knife in his hands. From his handling of the knife, one could tell he was very…intimate…with the knife. You could almost believe that the knife was an extension of the man's hand.

The man who stood before the knife-wielding questioner, however, also had other skills. "I believe that I have a few skills that are still relevant to the cause. Besides, I do not appreciate the fact that I am being held responsible for the escape of Director David's daughter." He pulled out a cell phone and showed the other man a picture he had taken. "However, I think you will have some explaining to do when our 'mutual friend' sees your gross incompetence once more."

The knife-wielder looked at the photo on the phone and did not flinch. "That can be explained." He called two men forward. Once they approached, the knife wielder said very calmly in Arabic, "I am here to present you with your reward." He moved so fast, neither man had a chance to react to the wonderful news as they received their final reward.

The knife-wielder, as he wiped off his blade, looked at the other man and said, "There lies our explanation. Now, we need to move forward. When are you leaving, and what is the rest of your plan?"

"Simple. Tomorrow, which means I should be there on Friday."

"Good. Retaliation must be done swiftly, otherwise how will the unwashed know. To Allah be glory."

"Glory be to Allah."

_____________________

_**Five days later…Hawaii**_

"At some point, Ms. David, you will have to face him." Hollis set the tray on the nightstand next to Ziva's bed. They were at the hospital, and Ziva was sitting on the other side of the bed, putting on some clothes that Hollis had brought for her. They were discussing her schedule once she came to Hollis's house.

"I can put off talking to Tony. As for Gibbs, well…"

"Well, what, Officer David?" Gibbs said, coming through the door.

"I am…not sure…what exactly I should or should not say," Ziva stammered out.

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee and waited her out. He had been there since Tuesday, and was still waiting for some answers from the Mossad agent. He understood that she was still recovering from her kidnapping and torture, but they needed more from her, before anything else came down the pipeline.

After sitting underneath Gibbs's glare, Ziva said, "From what I understand, they are trying to either infiltrate or stage an event where they can put someone in place to come into NCIS, if they have not done so already."

"That much can be said from the computer we brought back with us. Did they ask you questions specifically?"

"Yes, but I…can't remember…much. It comes to me…"

"Snapshots," Gibbs answered. Ziva nodded, remembering when Gibbs had gone through the same thing when he was in the explosion that caused him to leave NCIS, once he regained his memory.

Hollis stated, "The best way we can get your mind working again is to go to therapy. No buts," she explained, when Ziva started to block the discussion. "Ziva, if we can't figure this out, we can't help you or ourselves."

"What is your part in this, Lt. Col Mann?"

"Hollis. Civilian, somewhat. Agent actually. I work for the same team. NCIS – Special Assignment Task Force."

Ziva took this news stoically. "So I can brief you?"

"And me." Gibbs took another sip. "Hollis, I need to speak with her, alone."

Hollis looked at Gibbs for a moment, searching his face. Whatever she saw in his face must have agreed with what she wanted. She nodded and walked out of the room.

"Gibbs, do not push me."

"No. Just going to return the favor." He slapped the back of her head.

The reaction was not the same as it had been in the past. She reached out and grabbed his hand and hit the pressure point. Gibbs yelped, and then in a blinding move, he twirled her around by her wrist and tossed her into the chair. "STOP!"

It stopped her cold. She stared at him, but wasn't seeing him, and began to struggle with him.

Gibbs grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "STOP!" he yelled again.

She immediately stopped struggling with him, and she looked at him again.

He got down and looked her in her eyes, determined to make her see who it was. "You're home," he said, quietly. "You're safe." Gibbs was trying to suppress the survival instinct that always sent her off either fighting or running.

_I'm home, I'm safe _ her mind told herself. _Homesafehomesafehomesafehomesafehomesafehomesafe…._the words kept repeating themselves, giving her flashes of memories, laughter, happiness, music, friendship, it all floated to the front of her mind. And then, her brain jarred, then rebooted.

Ziva looked at him, "Gibbs? They wanted to turn me into a spy…they tried to get me to…but I wouldn't talk…would not answer them…they kept telling me about days…asking about schedules and maneuvers and who handled intel sources…they kept asking me questions, questions, _questions! _I couldn't…couldn't remember…can't remember…why?!" she wailed. She looked possessed.

Gibbs shook her again. "Come on back from that dark place." Ziva looked at him, again, trying to remember. "I can't…it won't stop…I can't…" and she yelled.

The doctor rushed in with Hollis right behind him. "Let her go, Agent Gibbs, she's having an episode," the doctor told him. Gibbs stepped aside and watched as the doctor sedated her, Hollis holding his arm. She whispered to him, "This was what happened during her debriefing. She couldn't stop the memories of the torture…"

Gibbs said, "She remembers, the fight's not with her mind, it's with her heart."


	9. Chapter 8 Conversations on the Edge

**Chapter 8 – Conversations on the Edge **

_**Hawaii…three days later**_

The door to house opened, and Gibbs and Hollis walking in, pushing Ziva in wheelchair. Tony was on the laptop, talking to McGee. "Gotta go, Probie." He closed the laptop and set it aside. "Hey, Boss."

"DiNozzo. Any news?"

"Well, lessee. The Toothpick is doing what he does best: asking questions and demanding answers. Which, I'll never tell," he said, singing the last three words (ala _Don't Say a Word_). Ziva looked at him, and he was heartened to see her smile a little.

"DiNozzo!"

"Sorry, Boss. Okay, Abbs said that the computer should be ready by tonight. Ducky and McGee are with her, doing their respective jobs you gave them, and we should have everything we need for the campfire."

Ziva groaned. Everyone turned to her, a little surprised and concerned. She answered, "It's nothing. It's just that…well, do I have to stay for the campfire?"

Gibbs said, "Yes," at the same time Hollis answered, "No, we can update you". They looked at each other for a couple of minutes. Tony looked at Gibbs, who was still deciding if he wanted to push the issue. Hollis rolled her eyes, and pushed Ziva to her room.

To say that Tony was shocked was an understatement. "Uh, Boss…did she just-"

"Countermand me? Ya think, DiNozzo?" He walked up the hallway to the room Hollis had set up for Ziva. As he was getting ready to knock, Hollis said, "I'll be right out, Jethro." Gibbs rolled his eyes at the door, and loitered outside the room until Hollis stepped out a few minutes later.

"Before you lay into me," Hollis explained, "I don't think she's ready for anyone yet. It was already bad enough she had to endure your 'bull in a china shop' today at the hospital. Give her some time to get her feet under her."

"She's tough. You're coddling her."

"She's been stripped down. You're hindering her recovery."

Stare met stare. Gibbs pointed at the door, "She's MY agent! I was the one…", he stopped abruptly. He swung around to face the wall, mentally bringing himself back under control. When he could speak again, it came out stilted. "I was the one who left her to face the shit that her father was gonna throw at her. I'm already putting the screws to him and Vance, and I've got more payback headed their way. I need her to know…that I'm here for her. I need her around to let her see that she still has family. She has us now. All of us. We won't let her face this by herself."

Hollis looked at him for a moment, then she walked closer to him, and put her hand on his face. She knew, deep down, Jethro would never show his emotions in front of his agents, but it didn't mean he didn't have them. "I think she's starting to understand that. She just doesn't know how any of them or even you feels about her because she stayed in Israel. The few conversations that I had with her, to be honest…she's scared, and she doesn't know how to do scared."

Gibbs took this all in with a look. He thought for a minute or two, and then said, "Okay."

"That's all? Okay? Wow, either I must be that convincing, or you're getting softer. Scratch that last one, because I know that you'd never admit to it."

Gibbs smirked and walked back to the living room. He walked up to the entrance and listened to Tony's conversation with McGee.

"It's like she's in control…no, Gibbs just kinda let it happen…No, McGoo, I don't think she's taking over the situation, I think that she's looking out for Ziva. Which to be honest, she needs it, but Gibbs wants answers … When have you ever know Leroy Jethro Gibbs to let things 'just happen'?...I don't know where he is right now, last time I checked-" and with that statement Tony turned around…

To meet Gibbs, nose to nose, "he's standing right in front of me." Tony brought the phone down from his ears, laughing nervously at being caught. "Hi, Boss…uhhhhhh, McGee wanted to know when you wanted to hold the conference call." Tony handed him the phone.

Gibbs took the phone, and turned around to answer, "Yeah, McGee", while slapping Tony in the back of the head. "8:30 is okay. It'll be just me, DiNozzo and Hollis…usual round of suspects, and I want Tobias there as well …ya think, McGee? Yes, your time 8:30, 8:30 our time is 2:30 a.m. your time…yeah. Uh-huh." Gibbs hung up and handed the phone back to Tony.

"Boss, did I hear you right? Fornell?"

"Yeah."

"Uh, not wanting to sound stupid, but –"

"Too late for that, DiNozzo."

"Yeah, is he the one that…"

"Wow. You're catching on quick, kid. Traveling unseen is what he does best."

"Okay. I'm just gonna head to the kitchen and round us up some chow." Tony took off for the kitchen. He thought to himself,_ I guess this one's gonna hafta play out itself. _

Hollis walked into the kitchen a few minutes later to find Tony making sandwiches. "Can you make a couple more, one with everything out here, and one just meat and mayo?"

"Sure," Tony replied, cutting one sandwich in half and placing it on a plate. "We're running low on food. I can make a run tomorrow."

"But we just bought groceries…never mind. I forgot, a still-growing boy is in residence."

Tony snorted, "Not just any boy, a frat boy." He finished the second sandwich, and put it in front of her.

"Oh, yes, God forbid you should ever grow out of that stage." Hollis picked up her sandwich and the other one, and head out of the kitchen. "Oh, and by the way, tomorrow, I'll need you to pick up Ziva from her physical therapist while you're out."

Tony looked at Hollis and visibly blanched. "Uh, do you think that's a good idea, given recent…events?" It was clear that Gibbs had informed him of Ziva's reaction in the hospital to the slightest provocation. Tony wasn't sure what would or wouldn't set her off, and knowing him, he probably would.

"Chicken, Tony?"

"Uh…well…no. Just kinda fond of my teeth. Like to…kinda keep them where they are right now."

"Remember our conversation a while back? The question isn't whether you want to see her or not. The real question is, are you still mad at her?"

Tony pondered that for a minute. Hollis took the sandwiches and headed for Ziva's room. She knocked gently on the door. "Ziva, it's me."

A quiet voice answered, "Come in."

Upon entering the room, Hollis looked around the room. She had given Ziva her guest room, which was decorated in greens and blues. It also had a walk-in closet and a small sitting area in front of a large picture window, which was where Ziva was currently seated. Hollis noticed that she hadn't changed her clothes, but she had kicked off her shoes. She also noticed that she was fiddling with her Star of David chain, which signaled some anxiety.

Ziva turned to her, holding the chain, and asked her, "Who got this for me?"

Hollis answered, "I believe Gibbs did. He knew how much it meant to you. You should thank him."

"I will." She held her hand out for the plate. "May I ask…"

"I got you a meat and mayo sandwich. Didn't know if you ate kosher or not." Hollis placed the sandwich next to her, and sat in the chair opposite Ziva. "I have to tell you, it would make me very pleased to have two men waiting for me."

Ziva, who had taken a bite out of the sandwich, immediately choked. She coughed and wiped her mouth. "What do you mean, waiting for me?"

"Well, I had explained to you in the hospital how they found you and rescued you. They have since, kept you away from all the unpleasantness of your father and Director Vance and other government agencies. No one knows you're here, except those that Gibbs told. From what I gathered from Tony's conversations, you have a few worried friends who want to know when you'll be ready to talk to them."

Ziva looked down at her hands. "I don't know when, but I will talk to them very soon. After the…episode in the hospital, I'm sure that I need to talk to Gibbs first."

Hollis took a bite out of her sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. After she swallowed, she said quietly, "You do realize that there is someone else out there who is chewing his hat." Ziva looked at her, somewhat confused. Hollis continued. "It means that he's nervous. Tony is, for the first time that I've known him, nervous about speaking to you. He doesn't know if you want to see him or not, or if you still hold him responsible for Michael Rivkin."

Ziva thought to herself, _Michael. I was pregnant with his child. Not anymore. And Tony…who I've known longer than Michael. I am still unsure about how I feel about him…G-d, I'm nervous, too. _She kept eating her sandwich, lost in thought.

Hollis studied the young woman in front of her. She knew that it would take time, but time was a luxury none of them could afford. "I've never been one to beat around the bush, so I'll say it plainly. You don't know or don't remember how you felt about him, but it's obvious to anyone who's ever known the two of you. You could fall in love with him, very easily. You loved him even when you were fighting each other. I can't say it's fated, but it's better to have the love you can feel and touch now, than never have it at all."

"Wasn't that a Shakespeare quote?"

"I updated it. He's not perfect. He's changed a little since I last saw him. He's grown, somewhat, and part of him is serious, and the other part is a brat, brackish, party-boy who has had life slam him a few times in the past couple of years. He's processing this all through the part that was hurt when you stayed in Israel."

"So the question I should be asking is how I feel about him?" Ziva asked her, a plea somewhere in her voice.

Hollis took her hands, and said, "No, the question is can you handle him being angry at you for trying to be your friend? Because the way he sees it, he's not mad at you for getting kidnapped or tortured. He's hurting because you're hurting. Even though you chose someone else, just as he did with Jeanne, he could've handled Michael being in your life. What he couldn't handle is your willingness to just let Michael, who you might have known for lot less longer than you've known Tony, come in and take you away from your family, much less, him. For the sake of making your _father_ happy. All he's ever wanted was _your_ happiness."

For a while, Ziva couldn't speak. She thought of all the times he'd show off in front of her, trying to get a laugh or get her to stop being serious, and enjoy her life. This brought back memories of their arguing about movies, or the differences between men and women. Even those times when Tony managed to surprise even her with something profound.

"I know that I've been a coward with dealing with him. I just can't put myself out…_there_…knowing he could reject me. That would hurt. This was part of the reason that I wanted to stay in Israel. Not because of what he did to Michael, but because if I came back-"

"How stupid you would look trying to start a relationship with him," Hollis finished.

Ziva nodded. "Tony said one time, that you should take only one hour after eating to jump in the pool or start a new relationship after you just broke up with someone. I told him he should change that to at least a day, to avoid heartburn and heartache."

Hollis snickered. Ziva resumed eating. After a few quiet minutes, Ziva said, "I'll talk to Gibbs in the morning. Before I go to therapy."

"You should know that I've asked Tony to pick you up after your last appointment."

"Well, there goes that day in the pool."

Both women chuckled.


	10. Chapter 9 Bombs Away

**A/N – Yes…more updates… for those of you who can't already tell, can you tell I don't like Vance. Got something very SPECIAL planned for him… and Trent Kort (mwahahahaha!) There's a tingle of TIVA in the chapter, and I'll probably get'em together in about 2-3 chapters.**

**Oops, before I forget. DISCLAIMER: (ahem) The show…CBS's. The characters…some of theirs and some of mine. The plot of this story…all mine. The chapter that finally brings TIVA together…priceless. And, away we go…**

**Chapter 9 – Bombs Away**

A delivery truck stopped at the Navy Yard entrance. The guard came out, checked his ID, and gave him a delivery pass to the NCIS building. The driver drove around to the NCIS main building and went inside to drop off the package at the front desk. All of sudden, an explosion rocked the building.

Alarms went off, and people poured of the three NCIS buildings. They congregated in the parking lot in front of the main NCIS building and looked on as the Navy MPs, and firefighters cordoned off the explosion area, which was where the delivery truck had parked, and began putting out the fire. Once the fire was put out, then the questions began.

This, of course, brought out the NCIS Director's worst side. For this to have happened on his watch was unacceptable. Director Vance Climbed on top of a car to get the attention of all the people gathered in the parking lot. "All right, people! Non-investigative personnel, head back to your offices. Forensics and investigators, you got one job to do for me today: find out who, what, when, where, why and HOW THIS HAPPENED!!" He climbed down from the car and walked off to where his assistant was standing, and started firing off directives. "Tell Agent McGee to go to MTAC and pull security videos. I want Dr. Mallard and Ms. Sciuto to get up here and start combing through the explosion debris and look for detonators to tell us where this came from.

His assistant wrote this down, and then said to Director Vance, "The driver of the van is right over there with the MPs and Mr. Palmer."

Vance headed over to where the driver was being treated. He did not suffer fools lightly, and this point was evident on his face. "Who were you making a delivery to?"

"Uh, sir, I gave the package to the front desk clerk. She had just signed for it, when…BOOM! No more truck. I can look on my docket to see who-"

"If you would, please?" Director Vance gritted out.

"Uh, it was simply sent to NCIS – Forensics."

"No name?"

"No, sir. But I had the correct address."

"That's the problem. Take him into custody," Vance signaled to the two MPs standing a few short feet away from him. The driver jackrabbited. He pushed Jimmy into the MPs, and took off through the parking lot, zigzagging to avoid being shot or seen. The MPs had split up, and were trying to corner him, when they heard a choking sound coming from behind some cars. One of them called out, "I see him!" The other ran over to join his companion, only to find that they were too late. The driver was dead, foam coming from his mouth. One of the MPs radioed for help and an ambulance.

Vance finally made it over to where the MPs stood, and saw the dead driver. "Damn" was all he could mutter. He made a phone call to the building's front desk and asked the secretary, "What did you do with the package that was just delivered?"

"Uh, sir, what package? He came in and asked for directions, and was leaving to go the annex building when the explosion occurred."

"He said that he delivered a package to you. What happened to it?!" Director Vance yelled into the receiver.

"Director, there's no package here," the secretary stammered, sensing that the Director had reached his limit. "I saw him when he came in, he asked for directions to the NCIS Annex Building. I told him how to get there and-"

"Young lady, how long have you been with NCIS?"

"Uh, six months, sir."

"Well, considering that, I will place you on probationary status. All packages are delivered to the Federal Building in DC before we receive them here to go through inspection. You should have learned that on your first day. The only deliveries we get are from the NCIS mailroom." Vance hung up his phone and turned to his assistant. "Where is Ms. Sciuto?"

"I'm trying to locate her now. She did come out of the building but I don't…oh, there she is," and she pointed to the truck, where a jumpsuit-clad Abby was picking through the remains of the truck, along with McGee.

Vance hightailed it over to the destroyed vehicle and snapped, "Status?"

Abby turned, and, in typical Abby-fashion, went off on a tangent. "Director Vance, sir. Umm, we were just cleared to get started going through the debris. We haven't found anything yet of any use. There are no human remains so far, mostly paper and other packing materials. Do you want me to call you once we find something?"

Vance looked at her as if she were crazy. "Yes, Ms. Sciuto, please let me know when you have something for me to look at. McGee, I need you in MTAC. Let Ms. Sciuto and the other technicians go through the debris."

"No problem, sir, Director Vance, sir." She turned around and got busy.

"Okay, right behind you, Director." McGee answered at the same time. He grabbed his backpack and headed into the building with the Director.

Ducky sidled up to Abby, and said, "Did you call Jethro and tell him about our little fracas here?"

Abby smiled, and said to Ducky, "Of course, Duckman. He was silent for a moment, and then asked if we were okay. I told him that were we all okay, including the Director. And of course, Gibbs said, 'Well Abbs, thank you but I didn't ask about him.'"

Ducky chuckled, "Leave it to Jethro to make a point."

Meanwhile, McGee was in MTAC trying to explain to a pissed-off Vance, "Uh, well …it's just…it seems that someone managed to jam the signal to one of the three cameras for the building that would have captured the explosion."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JAMMED?" Vance shouted. All of a sudden MTAC fell silent, all eyes on Vance. He walked up to McGee and asked him in a deadly low voice, "Do I need to get more people up here with you, McGee to help you find that footage?"

"Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you, sir. The only footage that we caught was with one of the Annex building cameras, they only had the tail end of the truck in its viewpoint, and then the fire from the explosion. The only thing that the cameras in front of our building caught was the fire trucks coming to put out the fire, sir."

Vance pulled out a toothpick and began to chew on it for a few minutes, while his brain was on overdrive. After a few moments, he said, "Check to see if someone has-"

"Broken past the firewalls or bypassed the servers to hack in the security mainframe? Just about to do that sir." McGee finished.

"Keep me updated. Have you heard from Agent Gibbs?"

"No sir. Not since he was here."

"You do know McGee, that I can verify that."

"Yes, sir." McGee turned to face him. "But why would I lie?"

Vance looked at the field agent for a second, then turned and walked out of MTAC. _There's something going on, and I am going to find out what it is, _ Vance thought to himself, _ even if I have to fire somebody to do it._

_____

_**Hawaii, 5 days later**_

"Okay, a couple more reps and we'll call it a day, Ms. David," Thomas said to Ziva, as she walked herself along the parallel bars. Due to the bruising on her legs, she was still hobbling around, and was making some progress. The doctors wanted to strengthen her legs before they got her out of the wheelchair and on either crutches or a cane. That, the physical therapist, was up to the patient.

The patient, however, had a different timetable. She wanted to be mobile by the end of the week. So she pushed herself. And her therapist chided when she fell during one of her sessions, not to rush things. No such luck with this patient. She didn't do slow.

The main thing that was driving Ziva to get well faster was the fact that Gibbs had assigned Tony to be her chauffer/nanny/babysitter/security detail/main irritant. So for the first two sessions, he ended up doing nothing but sitting there watching her during the sessions, saying nothing.

At first, she thought she could block him out. But when the exercise got tougher, and she fell a few times, she felt his eyes burning into her. It bothered her to no end that he was there. After the second session, when she was finished and the therapy nurse was setting her time for the next day, she turned to Tony to see if she could simply get one of the hospital vans to pick her up from the house. Tony shook his head.

"I was told to bring you to her and bring you back to the house. Gibbs's orders."

"And what if I don't want you watching me during my therapy?"

Tony turned to the therapy nurse and asked if they had a gym onsite, which they did. Tony turned back to her, and said, while pushing her out of the door. "I now have something else to do. You can be alone."

That was that.

Now, as Ziva sat outside in the hallway, waiting for Tony to finish up, she was getting a little upset. The therapy nurse told her that she would be starting her psych visits tomorrow. This always made her a little anxious, because she preferred to deal with things on her own, suffer quietly, and come to things on her own terms and time. Now, because of everything that happened, the doctors made it mandatory for her to have these evaluations before returning to active duty.

Tony came down the hallway to catch her fiddling with her hands. "You done?", he said, as he wiped off his face from the shower.

"Yes. I was waiting for you, for a change."

"Well, we can go. Do you want something to eat while we head back?"

"No, I just…want to go home and go to bed."

Tony didn't respond to that. He wheeled her to the car, helped her in and drove the short distance back to the house. When they got in, she wheeled herself to the kitchen, and he heard her open the refrigerator. He heard her mutter something in Hebrew.

"Did you need some help?"

"No. I was just trying to find…never mind. I can get it."

Tony walked over to the kitchen door to watch Ziva struggle to reach the top shelf of the fridge, and almost asked her if she wanted help. _After the reception she gave me last week, I'll just wait it out._

To say that their initial meeting (after everything) was tense, was put it mildly. She was sitting on the patio, when Tony came back from his early morning jog.

"Good morning." Ziva said, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Good morning." Tony bent over at the waist, breathing hard. "Is there any more left? Coffee, I mean?"

"Yes." A pause, then, "How are you?"

"Other than winded, I'm fine. The question is, how are you?" He wiped his face off with the towel he left sitting on the ledge of the patio's fence.

"I'm…better." Uncertainty laced her voice.

"That's…good." Unsure of what to say, and not wanting to put his foot in his mouth, he said, "I'll be taking you to PT tomorrow."

"What time should I be ready?"

"9:30 is good."

"Alright."

Tony waited for her to say something else, something more. But it never came, and he walked into the house to encounter Gibbs sipping his coffee in the kitchen's breakfast nook. Tony poured himself a cup and sat down across from Gibbs. Neither man said anything at first, then Tony put it out there. "I'll tell you what's going with one if you'll tell me what's going with yours?"

Gibbs looked at him for a second, then said, "Mine said give her space."

Tony nodded. "Well, from the looks of things out there," and he pointed at the patio, "there's a galaxy's worth there."

Both men clinked mugs and silence re-ensued the room.

That was almost a week ago. Tony couldn't manage the façade of "not talking" much longer. As he stood in the doorway watching her struggle, his tongue managed to pry itself from the top of his mouth. "You can't stand for anyone to help you."

"Not true. If I am to get better, I must become self-reliant," Ziva said with some censure.

"Self-reliant is one thing. Being stubborn is something else."

"I am not stubborn."

"Bullshit."

Ziva turned to meet his face. "And why does it concern you?" It was like she was daring him to say something wrong.

Tony took the challenge. "It concerns me, because now it's twice your stubborn ass has had a chance to ask for help, and each time you never took it when it was offered."

"Twice? Obviously you can't count because the only time you asked if I needed help was when you were in the other room." She turned back to the refrigerator. "What other…" and her voice drifted off.

"Yeah, kinda figured it'd take you a minute to remember. The first time, you put me on my ass for helping you. Figured I didn't want a repeat of that performance." Tony snorted, and walked over to the refrigerator and took down her favorite Fiji apples and peanut butter, and dumped them in her lap.

He got down to her eye level, and looked her dead in the eyes, making her understand that he was as serious as his glare was. "I'm only going to say this once, and them I'm done. Take it for whatever it's worth to you. As a team, Gibbs has beat some things into our heads. We are a family. Not by blood, but by choice. We may not always show it, but it's there. And to Gibbs, Abby, McGee, Ducky, Jimmy and myself - it INCLUDES you. We don't leave each other behind. We can walk away, but never too far that we can't reach you. We take care of our own, even when they don't want it. We can pick on each other, but no one else can. And the most important: sometimes when you have people that care about you, you ask for help not because you need it, but because they want to give it to you." He slammed the door and walked out the room.

Ziva sat in her chair and absorbed the bomb he dropped on her. _Family? _She thought. _Was that what Tali and Roy were trying to tell me? _She wheeled out to find him sitting on the sofa, remote in hand. "I didn't ask for this."

"Well, too late, sweetheart, you've got us." He flicked through the channels.

"I mean, I didn't ask you to come get me," she gritted out. "I had…other solutions."

He looked at her. "So you would have committed suicide rather than fight?"

"Yes, I mean, no. Rrrrgh! I DON'T KNOW!" Ziva wailed. "All I know was that I was hurt, from Michael, from my father, from you, from Gibbs, from everything, and I wanted it all to go away. And I struggled between…life…. or …death… and all I wanted was to come back…"

"Home. To NCIS. To us." Tony walked over and sat down in front of the now crying Ziva. "I've learned something while being in NCIS. Home is never a what. It's a who. To you, we're home."

Ziva wiped her face and nodded. "I couldn't choose."

"And that's what made me mad. You shouldn't have had to. That rat bastard Rivkin and your father tried to force you to choose: them or us."

Ziva looked up hotly at him, "He was not a bastard!"

"Like hell he wasn't." Gibbs sauntered into the room. "No father would have done what your father has done to you. I would never…." Gibbs paused, then went on, "I'd never ask Kelly to choose between the people she loved. And I didn't ask you to either. Door was always left open, up to you to come back through it."

Ziva looked at Gibbs. "I had to choose between Ari and you!"

"And what did that show you?"

Ziva was quiet for a moment. She said quietly, "That given the choice, I would always follow my heart."

"Not my choice, Ziva, it was always yours."

Ziva dissolved into tears. Gibbs pulled her out of her chair and just let her cry. The three of them sat that way for a while.

.


End file.
